I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
