Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
