i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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