so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
