yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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