Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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