what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
