I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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