a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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