so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
