sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wish you could order shots online.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The adults are the big ones right?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
