i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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