your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
