it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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