R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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