PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
