i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
