I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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