First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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