he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She bit a glass in half.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
