Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize