after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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