My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
