Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
