he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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