we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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