just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
