i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
porn star boner night. come get it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
