That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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