I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
