I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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