She said her name was "party"
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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