Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
