Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
