i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
