you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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