it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
