tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
