well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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