i think i have herpe
just one?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
