sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
