We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
