i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
