That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
