Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize