Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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