i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
