i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
