Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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