I don't remember. Are we still dating?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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