Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
