The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
well you can't waste a boner
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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