Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
