the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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