why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
