South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You ruined the universe
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize