Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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