let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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