Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Four minutes until I can fart!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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