My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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