just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
