I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize