I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
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A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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