How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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