every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?