I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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