Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter

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  (305): You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter http://tfl.nu/j7mv
  Replies (1) Good night (1647) Bad night (750)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Have you learned any life lessons?

  (406): View more from Montana

  I like big butts and I cannot lie.

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  (303): Have you learned any life lessons? (406): I like big butts and I cannot lie. http://tfl.nu/s51u
  Replies (11) Good night (3116) Bad night (864)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.

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  (519): It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night. http://tfl.nu/y7pe
  Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (1258)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  And why did you do that?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Tequila

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  (857): So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose. (617): And why did you do that? (857): Tequila http://tfl.nu/gjpj
  Replies (7) Good night (3893) Bad night (904)
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  (818): View more from California

  First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.

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  (818): First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex. http://tfl.nu/u5cb
  Replies (23) Good night (752) Bad night (6277)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.

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  (514): i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/xhhe
  Replies (25) Good night (1103) Bad night (6359)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"

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  (+44): Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far" http://tfl.nu/vzxo
  Replies (7) Good night (4515) Bad night (1069)
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  (951): View more from California

  I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.

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  (951): I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here. http://tfl.nu/bc0s
  Replies (4) Good night (1314) Bad night (2363)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.

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  (443): we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out. http://tfl.nu/gq5i
  Replies (9) Good night (2573) Bad night (880)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  How did it go last night?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?

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  (416): How did it go last night? (647): Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad? http://tfl.nu/bq72
  Replies (6) Good night (1411) Bad night (1534)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.

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  (423): I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor. http://tfl.nu/3542
  Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (382)
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  (190): View more from

  All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way

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  (190): All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way http://tfl.nu/sfii
  Replies (0) Good night (417) Bad night (288)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.

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  (731): He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever. http://tfl.nu/ca2r
  Replies (3) Good night (1241) Bad night (337)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.

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  (413): Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception. http://tfl.nu/yfth
  Replies (0) Good night (381) Bad night (242)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.

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  (843): He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here. http://tfl.nu/sowp
  Replies (1) Good night (238) Bad night (125)

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