Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
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She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
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You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.