I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he was CRYING into my vagina
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
