It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.