Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You guys are open that late?

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(703): Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges." (610): You guys are open that late? http://tfl.nu/gb5t

Replies (17) Good night (1086) Bad night (4011)
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(941): View more from Florida

I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.

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(941): I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass. http://tfl.nu/wkll

Replies (6) Good night (3761) Bad night (1220)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.

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(860): Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message. http://tfl.nu/jwe9

Replies (19) Good night (9775) Bad night (1036)
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(740): View more from Ohio

He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over

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(740): He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over http://tfl.nu/br0o

Replies (41) Good night (1328) Bad night (3024)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.

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(815): Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit. http://tfl.nu/yacj

Replies (22) Good night (1824) Bad night (5949)
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(703): View more from Virginia

She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.

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(703): She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning. http://tfl.nu/a0no

Replies (8) Good night (3751) Bad night (1049)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.

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(205): I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030. http://tfl.nu/rrwq

Replies (6) Good night (2646) Bad night (956)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.

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(423): no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet. http://tfl.nu/ph90

Replies (10) Good night (2907) Bad night (1309)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame

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(952): and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame http://tfl.nu/7sdj

Replies (4) Good night (2128) Bad night (723)
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(718): View more from New York

Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.

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(718): Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up. http://tfl.nu/gzqi

Replies (4) Good night (1439) Bad night (593)
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(210): View more from Texas

Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping

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(210): Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping http://tfl.nu/by8h

Replies (0) Good night (656) Bad night (912)
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(619): View more from California

I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?

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(619): I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in? http://tfl.nu/31ig

Replies (2) Good night (1276) Bad night (410)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?

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(901): So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back? http://tfl.nu/odpa

Replies (8) Good night (670) Bad night (1202)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.

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(423): People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store. http://tfl.nu/4ti5

Replies (9) Good night (624) Bad night (636)
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(713): View more from Texas

So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.

(936): View more from Texas

I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.

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(713): So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY. (936): I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating. http://tfl.nu/ukan

Replies (3) Good night (943) Bad night (432)

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