it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
