weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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